That don't make no sense.

After reading "Teaching Standard English: Whose Standard?," I'm left wondering one thing: do education systems in other countries teach a standard version of their languages? Do Mexican schools teach students not to use shortcuts in their formal writings? Do they teach that they don't "need" to know the vosotros forms of words? Or do they teach the vosotros forms and say, "Se necesitan solamente en su escritura formal."  I know when I learned Spanish in high school, I was told that the Mexican version of Spanish doesn't really use vosotros forms ("you," informal and plural), while Spanish from Spain does. I'm considering this question because I think we take a lot of flak for teaching American Standard English, but surely other countries must teach standard versions of their language. I hesitate to ask something like, "How would they grade papers?" and instead ask, "But how can they know if students are learning the language?" The devil's advocate would respond that they're learning the language at their house, because they certainly couldn't function without learning the language--how would they communicate?

What this post will eventually get to is that very question: How would they communicate? Christensen insists that SE is the language of power, but really, SE is the language of communication. Here's an extreme case as an example of what I mean: When I'm not at school, I work in a warehouse. Two women from South Korea work there, and have worked there for nearly 10 years. When I first started, I couldn't understand what they were trying to say to me. I'd ask what we were supposed to do next, and Sun would say, "Asking Barbara." Naturally, I assumed that meant she would be asking Barb, or had already asked and was waiting for a minute. After a few seconds, she'd make a motion or point and say "Go asking Barbara." Obviously I figured out that I was supposed to go ask. Though my example is not necessarily dialectical, it is representative. SE is used so that, when used correctly and by the rules, there can never be miscommunication. If you have the correct agreement, syntax, and word choice, everyone should always understand what you're trying to say. Without that, it's a language of inherent miscommunication. Any time I edit a paper for someone, I end up calling and asking, "Did you mean to say this, or this?," and that's the problem with non-standard English. In matters of national or personal security, I want the person who can speak SE every time, so there is no miscommunication about what's happening.

I titled this post as I did because it's a phrase I often use. I grew up in a home with a mother who taught journalism for one year and a father whose motto when it comes to English is, "If it was good enough for my grandfather, it's good enough for me." I know all about being unable to understand directions, and I know that there's something to be said for having a dialect or a personality in one's words. I love reading stories written that way--Roll of Thunder, things by Mark Twain, etc. Those writings have a different type of flavor than others. But that doesn't mean essays or government missives or menus should be written the same way. There are many more people who can understand basic SE (i.e., 7th-grade reading-level words, not words that you had to look up twice just to spell correctly). Far fewer can understand non-standard English. English majors can barely pronounce words in Roll of Thunder (much to my amusement), so it doesn't exactly make sense to argue for its acceptance in formal writings, only for its status as a legitimate dialect. Would you expect to take 100,000 English-speakers into Mexico and force them to change their syntax so you can be accommodated? Absolutely not.

Edit: "Yes, untracked classes will probably be louder than honors classes. Yes, more students will arrive academically unprepared than in an honors class. Yes, if the balance of the class is shifted too heavily in favor of low-track students, 'discipline' may remain an issue. But well-balanced untracked classes will also be more inventive, more creative, and more honest" ("Untracking" 173). -- Ok, that's all well and good. What about learning? I sat through untracked classes for 4 years in elementary school (K-3), and then only math and English were tracked (4-5). The first 4 years were the most boring years of my life as far as school is concerned. I got in more trouble than you could imagine. I was in the principal's office constantly, did about half of my homework, and often either talked during or didn't participate in class. Why? I was bored by the kids who needed to learn addition 17 different times, so I was a distraction to others. It's just like in college classes when there's an audible sigh because that kid raised his hand again. Obviously there are going to be kids who need extra help and it's our job to help them (and everyone else), but why hold others back? There's an easier way: honors vs. non-honors. Honors/AP for the kids who are hardcore, non-honors for everyone else. Easy enough.

Finally, Hade is trying to create controversy in a place where it doesn't exist. The lions are behaving in a manner fit for KINGS. Patriarchal societies have males on the throne. Period. And the women did not "[suffer] injustice quietly and patiently waiting for the rightful male heir to claim what is his" (234). Sarabi verbally challenged Scar, and Nala went to find Simba. And, he wanted so badly for this to be a gender issue that he conveniently glossed over the fact that literally hundreds of hyenas were there to protect Scar (vs. the 15-25 lionesses). Honestly, why should we give any credibility to a man who can't bother to spell the names of two main characters (Scar and Mufasa--Mustafa? Someone has issues with latent racism) correctly? Try giving any credence to someone writing an essay about "Hamlit" once, let alone about "Hamlit" and "Opheelya". Hade is the kid who, because the two male characters hugged, raises his hand the moment class begins and says, "I think the two guys are gay" and the teacher has to spend the next half hour explaining that they're not gay, but that we'll find later that they're far from it. Hade is that kid.